I can't say "I'm grateful you're not suffering anymore"
I ask "Why couldn't you just get better??"

I can't say "You've gone to a better place"
I ask "Wasn't with me a good enough place??"

I can't say "It was your time to go"
I ask "How could you possibly have fit a lifetime into forty-two years??"

I can't say "I love you more than you will know"
I ask "Did you know I loved you at all??"

I can't say "I wish I was there when you left"
I ask "Why wasn't I??"

I can't say "Please forgive me"
I ask "Can I ever forgive myself??"

I can't say "I might not remember you"
I ask "How could I ever forget you??"

I can't say "I understand you leaving"
I ask "Why couldn't you stay??"

I can't say "These past five months have been hard"
I ask "How will I live the rest of the months without you??"

I can't say "It's not so bad being alone"
I cry "It breaks my heart to be without my mom"

You were the only mom I ever had,
and the only one I want right now.

R.I.P.